Becoming 18

On the last morning before my 18th birthday, I kept singing the Chinese song Don't wanna grow up,
knowing exactly I could't change the fact that I am growing up every minute though.
Therefore, with nothing special,
I started my last day of being an adolescent.

I don't want to grow up. I don't like to grow up.
I don't know if someone else has the same idea,
or someone really cares about the advent of this day just like me.
I would say I had never had a birthday before that I was so unwilling to have.
I can still remember in my favorite sitcom Friends, Rachael was so upset about her 30th birthday,
and at the time I was watching it, I totally couldn't understand;
but now I can completely put myself in her shoes.

In ancient China, whenever people became adults, they would hold a grand ceremony,
which could be a rapture for new era of life,
or a memorial ceremony for past years.
Nevertheless,
people pay far less attention to this kind of culture today,
no matter for happiness or sadness,
they regrettably don't want to waste time even on the formality of these rituals.

Growing up and becoming an adult may entitle me to more rights and give me more courages,
however it also puts more responsibilities and more challenges on my shoulders.
Adolescence,
though always has more restrictions and timidness,
has precious simplicity and more freedom,
which once you lost you will never be able to obtain them again.

I cherish the memory of every day before 18,
I really cherish the memory of the underage innocence,
and the memory that when someone asks your age, you are still a representative of youth and energy.
Yet adulthood,
means you are entirely off that way.  

That night, my best friend texted me a message,
asking me if I had the feeling of being independent and mature.
I didn't know how to answer.
Being independent, to me, means I could be out of others' control,
but neither adolescence nor adulthood would reach that standard.

Ironically, as soon as I realized that point,
I've grown up.